The Truth Is

On my journey of life I've come to the conclusion of many things, 

but one of my 

MOST VALUABLE conclusions is the IMPORTANCE OF TRUTH. 

I can name a long list on why it's important to be honest and this comes from a person who used to be able to fabricate lies by the flick of a finger, an ability surely passed down to me from my father, so I've concocted a lot of lies for the most part of my life. So I presume you can only imagine the karma I've experienced that urged me to do a 360 & only speak the truth. 

      MY TRUTH  

For a long time I was a liar, now I look at lies as a virus. You open your mouth & lie to people, often times they're going to lie right back to you. But not only can lying spread to others, it spreads within us. We begin to constantly lie to ourselves, we call ourselves victims, we make up all these kinds of reasons why we couldn't tell the truth, we formulate all kinds of scenarios & delusions where we are the one everyone doesn't love, doesn't support, doesn't understand, or even appreciate. The one people are just trying to use & abuse and so on....

In the act of telling ourselves all of this, we skip the truth, we skip the part where we placed ourselves in situations where people could take advantage of us..to the point where we're victimized. We try to defend our lies by speaking about our fears, the "what would've happened"s under the disguise that is really just guilt. We tell ourselves no one loves of supports us but left out the part where we don't let anyone get too close because we have trust issues, fears & boundary issues, we're not balanced in our life, we're noncommittal, we're terrified of being betrayed & being made a fool of.. so we push everyone we care about & who care about us away. 

We leave out the part where we betrayed ourselves first by trading in angels for demons. We felt more comfortable with other people's demons because just like we didn't want anyone to get too close neither did they, so we can both live a life of thrill & avoid the agonizing pains we feel plaguing us on the inside. we paint over it layer by layer trying to cover up the brokenness, but if there's anything you can know about paint is, you can just scrape it off to reveal whatever is beneath the layers.

Most of us aren't victims unless it's to our circumstances, which are situations that were completely and entirely out of any means of our control. 

MOST OF US ARE THE PERPETRATORS TO

- OUR OWN PAINS BY OUR OWN CHOICES & Decisions. 

My biggest regrets were made in spontaneous moments of boredom. Like how I got into a relationship in H.S out of boredom, he was persistent for 2 years and my senior year I was like why not, lets see where this goes. What happened next was a curse and a blessing. I couldn't blame anyone for how the situation panned out because only I initiated my actions no one forced me. I saw all the warning signs but willingly chose to overlook them. 

See to heal WE HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH OURSELVES ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! & ITS IMPORTANT TO BE HONEST TO OTHERS ASWELL. 

From someone who had little to no respect from anyone to someone who is well respected by people of all different ages, I say this to you with compassion.

 

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, YOUR MIND, YOUR BODY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOUR SOUL & being honest to you is an EXTREMELY IMPORTANT part of that. <3

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